I had an amazing time in Cincinnati. Due to the company, of course. I have an extreme faith in people, which can be really counter-intuitive and hard to enforce in myself at times. Typically it’s easier to be stubborn and discount their choices. They may be working towards a goal that I identify with, or may be on track to discovering something that they wouldn’t be able to discover another way more efficiently. As Eva would say, “aren’t more options better?” But I digress, I’m getting ahead of myself. Ultimately, the trip has left me missing Monica’s presence; but at least we had those few days before this next bought of absence (next time we see each other it’ll be in Paris or Ax!).

It’s really amazing how influential our environment is to us, and how I always seem to underestimate the affect of individuals on that environment. Though, surely, humans can be taken from the equation entirely, and an individual can live in communication only with the environment–it is that individual who still creates meaning and definition for that environment. Monica’s father is on a low-carb diet. Superficially, this is not a logical choice, just like vegetarianism, for purely health concerns. It’s sometimes hard to remember that these ideologies are simply means to an end. There may be many was to get there, and some may seem better than others, but the option should still exist. The ultimate goal for both of us is probably a happier healthier life. There is a huge difference in the means between vegetarians and low-carb dieters in attempting to reach a healthier life. For example, try making a low-carb vegetarian meal. I did this weekend, and it was VERY hard. In the end it was a fantastic experience, and I felt that in the end he tried something new (in this case tempeh), and I learned something about compromising my ideals. I felt quite guilty for my assumptions I made while planning the meal, though really I still believe vegetarianism may be a better diagnosis of the current American health problem. I might change my diet ideologies when I get to Britain, but probably not much, I’ll have to do some research.

—-Side note: We had green bean pesto pasta salad with tempeh fried with olive oil and sun dried tomatoes. We simply took out the pasta for the low-carb version, and it was still delicious. On the side we had delicious layered tomatoes and mozzarella slices in a balsamic sauce.

Personally, I’d like to be even more healthy. It’s really easy to make compromises, but much harder to get even healthier. Part of health is making those compromises and not feeling addicted to your ideologies, but I don’t think I need help compromising in these ways on occasion. My enviornment doesn’t seem to be set up very well for me to make these healthier decisions. It’s really really hard to say, I don’t need to eat that General Tso’s Chicken. I can lie to myself and say it doesn’t even taste that good, but really it does, and it’s quite cheap for the fake delicious taste that you get from it. So, I’m still vegetarian, and I’ll have some general tso’s chicken one day next year on a particularly special occasion.

Some goals take a LOT of self control, and I’m starting to consider those goals realistically. It’s going to take a lot of rules, and I need to believe in them and not be insecure. As a result, other possible rules or general regulations that may need to be created for me include: wake up times, smoking, alcohol, reading, Internet, exercise. Sort of sounds crappy, it sounds not free, but the amazing thing is I can, and no one has to tell me to do it one way or the other. I can make up my own way. My only fear is that it comes with some identity baggage, and that while I’m abroad I have the courage to recognize a situation that is particularly unique and may never come again.

I think I’ll be missing people more and more soon. I’m probably going to work on music with Michael Warshaur for the next four days at an empty lake-house up north for a few days. I’m reading STIFF again so Monica and I can read Omnivores Dilemma together. It’s a great book. Remember the part in Fight Club that explains that Nitrogen is pumped into the air of airplanes; it’s true, but not to sedate people. Instead it’s so that the explosions are less large and kill less people. As a turns out, most plane crashes occur on takeoff or landing, and most people are killed trying to rush to emergency exits that have not failed to open. Besides sitting in a window seat next to an emergency exit, you should try to be a male, statistically speaking, it’s the best way to survive. Damn.