A few months back a coworker of mine had free Celine Dion tickets he was trying to give away. When he sent the email asking if any of us wanted them I replied saying there is no way I would ever attend this concert. I went on to tell him that if there was a contest to ban an artist from the airwaves or from ever making another album, I would quit my job and take out a loan (this was before the banking crisis) to pay people to call and vote for Celine Dion so she would never hurt anyone again.

This got me thinking, what if this contest really existed? What if we could actually vote for songs to never be played again - you know, that song that when it comes on you stop and ask yourself how anyone could ever like it?

I’m not going to stop with one. I actually have five (I have more but five is a nice neat number). I will update it each year to give consideration to those new terrible songs. Keep in mind, these aren’t songs that I got sick of from hearing too much (that list would be much longer and consist mostly of Gin Blossom, Sugar Ray and Matchbox 20 songs). Instead, they represent songs that nothing good can ever come from.

Here are mine - what are yours?

1. Celine Dion, My Heart Will Go On

2. Rob Thomas, Smooth

3. Bob Carlisle, Christmas Shoes (because it’s the season I went with this over Butterfly Kisses)

4. John Mayer, Daughters

5. Spin Doctors, Two Princes

And one for good measure

6. Dishwalla, Counting Blue Cars

Oh man, now I can’t stop

7. Extreme, More than words

Ok, I’m cutting it off at seven. Otherwise we’ll be here all night. Look, I’m sorry if any of these are stuck in your head now. But just think of that when you write your congressman and suggest they propose this rule. It’s the ONLY time you’ll hear me endorse any kind of censorship. I hate it censorship. But I hate these songs more. They are the Thomas Kincaid of the music world and represent everything that’s wrong with new and indie artist exposure.