Posted: Aug 24, 08 8:33am
I completely understand what it feels like to be the oldest person in the class. There were times when I was older than the professor. For me, it became a struggle with my ego, I would feel so embarrassed, like I was impeding on a world that I no longer was a part of.
What it came down to, for me, is what I wanted, what were my goals and why did I want this degree. I wanted to grow as an individual and put myself in a position where I could offer more to my community. I had been married and raised my four daughters. During my 20's, 30's, and 40's, that was my priority and my "job", to take care of them. I had to work fulltime as well, and school was not an option.
When I got to the point in life where I could concentrate on what I wanted to "be", how I wanted to represent myself to the world besides "mother and secretary",
I had to come to grips that in many ways, I will never "catch up" with those who accomplished their educational goals early in life, and to be honest, I envy them. I so admire the young professionals I encounter on a daily basis and wonder how they had so much focus at such a young age. I did not have that. So it comes back to the here and now and the reality that life is a series of choices, and I believe that we cannot have it all, at the same time.
My reality now is that at 52 years old I have just graduated with my bachelors in Human Services. I am starting a new job tomorrow, because of my degree, in a field that is interesting and meaningful. Ten years ago, when I was typing letters for my bosses, I never would have imagined I would be in the position of making decisions for other people with some authority and respect.
I am going to take a break for about six months and then I'll be applying to grad schools. I want my master's in counseling, and then get licensed...maybe...I will just take the next indicated step each time I feel ready. My master's at 54...would have been nice to have it at 34, but this is a very personal journey. And looking back with the "could've, should've, would've's" have never served me very well.